I live a lego

Well its that time again.  English testing time!  Its my favorite time of each semester and not just because I get to scare little children.  Its the best time for a good laugh.  Chinese kids come up with the cutest/funniest things to say in English.  For example at the end of last semester my second graders had a written test in which they had to give me some basic information about themselves such as: What is your name?  How old are you? etc.  In answer to the question: Where do you live?  One little boy wrote: "I live a lego." I thought it was priceless and has now become a favorite saying of mine.

Although the written tests can be very amusing, I think that the oral tests are even better for a laugh. (The hard part is not busting up in front of the kid who is talking.)  Yesterday I finished the oral testing for my third graders.  They had to speak to me for one minute or more about one of three subjects.  They could choose to tell me about their favorite place, a person, or their daily routine.  A lot of kids who told me about a person would talk about their mom or dad but a couple of kids told me about a classmate.  I thought Harry's was pretty funny.  He told me about his classmate Andy.  Here is some of what he said:
"He is fat.  His eyes like noodle.  He like bread.  He sometimes is a little crazy and angry but he is good."

Another student, Simba, talked about his favorite place.  Here is some of what he said:
"My favorite place is beach.  He is nice and beautiful.  He is very hot.  I go swimming."

Eda also told me about her favorite place.  She said:
"My favorite place is school because I have beautiful teacher, nice chair, nice table, many friends."

Then there were a couple of students who really blew me away with their grammar and use of vocabulary.  I'm pretty sure their parents helped them out.  Here is some of what Mary said:
"My favorite place is Dubai.....It has many top grade hotels and it has the tallest building in the world...."

Testing day is so much fun!  I only wish I didn't have to grade them. :)

Words to remember:

kǎo­shì （考试）= test

nǐ zhù zài nǎ­li？ （你住在哪里？）= Where do you live? (literally: you live at where?)

wǒ zhù zài… （我住在….）=  I live at….

Winter already!

It the course of a few days the weather turned from nippy to chilly to downright cold and then it went back to chilly.  I can tell by the lack of leaves on the trees that winter is definitely here and I'm already counting the days until winter vacation.  The one thing that makes winter bearable is knowing that I will have more time to do things I like in January and February.  What do I like to do in winter?  Let's see.  I like to make soup, bake stuff, write my blog, and study Chinese!  Well maybe not that last one. :)

My street a month ago and now.  What a difference no leaves make!

In the meantime I'm enjoying teaching children.  I really do enjoy it, I just don't enjoy the commute and all the time it requires.  I still have a couple of kids that I teach one on one.  Lately I've noticed how much their ipads are involved in their lives and even thoughts.  In my last class with my nine year old student, Gita, she learned the word treasure. (财宝).  I asked her to use treasure in a sentence and she said "Ipad is my treasure."   A little later I asked her to use this sentence structure: (plural noun) don't belong in (place).  I gave her an example: Cell phones don't belong in movie theatres.  Then she said "Ipads don't belong in classroom".  On a different day I showed her a poem I thought would be a good teaching aid in writing her own.  We read it together, discussed the meaning, then I asked her to substitute some words and make it her own.  Here is the original poem:
Autobiographia Literaria
by Frank O'Hara

When I was a child I played by myself in a
corner of the schoolyard
all alone.
I hated dolls and I hated games, animals were
not friends and birds flew away.
If anyone was looking for me I hid behind a
tree and cried out "I am
an orphan/"
And here I am, the
center of all beauty
writing these poems!
Imagine!

Here is Gita's adaptation:

When I was a child I played
with my ipad, on my sofa
all alone.
I loved Minecraft and I loved
Muffin Knight, monsters were not
friendly and zombies made me
run away.
If any monster was looking for
me I killed it and screamed
out "Don't come back!"
And here I am, the monsters
all around me, I'm dead.
Play it again.

I think I almost like her version better.  It really does give you a peak into the mind of todays children, doesn't it?

Words to remember:

dōng­tiān （冬天）= winter

shī （诗）= poem

cái­bǎo （财宝）= treasure

ipad (ipad) = ipad (Hey, I bet you already knew that!)

Autumn in the city

China all the way to New York I can feel the distance getting close
You're right next to me but I need an airplane
I can feel the distance as you breathe - Tori Amos (China)

Sam's sister Elizabeth got married October 19th.  We watched the ceremony on the Groom's iphone.  It was strange.  Even more so because the person holding the phone was someone who didn't know us.  The phone was also on mute so we had no way to say hello to the people we did know.  It felt like we were looking through a portal to a world that we couldn't touch.  It was like a dream.  Like a dream in which I'm watching everyone but no one sees me and no one notices that I'm not even there.  We agreed later that it was a bad idea to watch it that way.  For anyone who wants to know the hardest part about living far away from home its just that, living far away from home.  You have to accept that life will continue going on there without you.  You can get used to it by keeping involved in your new life but there will always be something to pull you back and make you feel the distance.

Maybe in the days before instagram, iphones, Skype, the internet, and even the telephone it was easier.  People picked up their things, said goodbye and just accepted that the life you had was coming to an end.  It was probably easier to look forward when looking back wasn't so darn convenient.   For my part, I'm resolving to look back a little less and forward a little more.

And on that note.... here are a couple of pics I took while out and about.  It seems that when the weather is clear autumn in the city is really pretty. 

PS. I borrowed freeradicalsinchina.blogspot.com's format of song quoting for this blog.  If you haven't yet done so, check out their blog.

What I bought on the internet

My level of speaking Mandarin has improved greatly in the past two and a half years but I still have a long way to go.  Of course it doesn't help that my hearing isn't great and lots of people mumble here.  I should also mention that many people speak Mandarin as a second language because in many provinces they have a local dialect .  All this means that I will probably never run out of embarrassing stories of misunderstandings.  Here's the most recent one.

The other day a friend and I were taking a short rest on a bench at one of the local college campuses.  Across from us was a little grandma holding her grandbaby girl.  We chatted with her for a bit but she was very difficult for me to understand.  She not only had a soft voice but I didn't understand many words she used.  She said she was from the Henan(河南) province and she mostly spoke a local dialect.  She was pretty friendly though and when she found out I was American she asked many of the usual questions.  She first asked if I was married.  Then she asked how often I went back home and how much my plane ticket was.  Then she mumbled something I couldn't make out clearly.  This is what I heard :"blah blah blah, in China or in America?"  I really should have asked her to repeat herself but instead I just guessed that she must be asking me if I bought my plane ticket in China or America.  So I replied "I used the internet to buy" (我在网上买的）.  As soon as the words came out of my mouth I knew I had guessed wrong.  My friend next to me was laughing so hard she couldn't speak and the little old lady just looked at me with a puzzled expression.  I asked my friend what I said wrong and she just said she'd tell me later.  I felt uneasy the rest of the conversation but finally as we walked away I bugged my friend to tell me what I had missed.  She said the lady had asked me where I had met my husband, in China or in America?  And I had replied that I bought him on the internet!!

After having a good laugh I felt so embarrassed!  What must that lady have thought?  I also couldn't understand why my friend hadn't corrected me right away but I guess she was laughing too hard.  Fortunately I ran into the lady again as we were leaving the campus and was able to explain the misunderstanding.  I'm not sure if she totally believed me though.  Oh well, since there are mail order brides there must also be mail order husbands. But, can you imagine how much my friend would have laughed if I had followed my reply by saying that I used the internet because its cheaper?

Phrase to remember:

wǒ méi tīng qīng­chu（我没听清楚）= I didn’t hear clearly.

A good day for a hike

Lately the air quality has been really bad.  Even people with no breathing problems have been complaining of burning lungs.  Even so, in restaurants and on the street the usual smokers are still puffing away.  I could complain forever about the air quality and smokers but this blog is about the one beautiful day in amongst all the crappy ones.   Last Tuesday morning it rained pretty hard and cleaned up the air so on Wednesday it was perfect for a hike.   And it just so happened to be the day we planned to go for one.  Since last week was the National Holiday many locals had free time.  If you went to any of the touristy spots it would have been crowded but the small mountain we hiked wasn't too bad.  We had a really great time hiking the mountain and picnicking with friends.  I think the pictures give you a good idea of the air quality.

Beginning of hike.  Love the yellow leaves!

This was the shed skin from a very interesting bug 

  The bottom sign says "The rock of ghost laugh" 

Sam took a liking to this centipede

 View from the top

  Sam even got to play some baseball

Words to remember:

爬山 pá­shān = to climb a mountain; hiking

A tale of two beds

I mentioned in my last blog that we had two new queen sized beds leaned up against a wall in our guest bedroom.  We've been trying to get rid of them for a while now.  Actually we came close a few times to finding them a new home but in the end no real success .  I had posted advertisements on both Chinese and English websites here and almost sold one to a talkative Australian man.  He was quite a character.  He came, looked at the bed, talked for a long time about everything from world politics to how I should paint the exposed pipes in our bedroom fire engine red, and then he gave us 100rmb as a deposit.  He said he would come back the next day to pick it up.  But the next day he sent me a message saying that his landlord changed their mind about taking away his current bed and so he no longer needed ours.  He was very apologetic and even let us keep the deposit.  Sure an extra 100rmb in our pocket was nice but what we really wanted was to get rid of those beds.  I complained about it to everyone that I could and finally one of my English student's mom told me I should just have someone come and haul them away.  It sounded easy enough but I didn't even know where to find someone who does that sort of thing.  She said she knew someone and called them on my behalf.  They said they would give me 100rmb for each bed.  That was okay by me and when I told Sam about it he agreed.  We made the arrangements for them to pick it up on Saturday sometime in the afternoon.

Then on Saturday afternoon I got a call from my student's parent.  She said the people who were coming to pick up the beds could not give me any money for them but they would still come and pick them up if I wanted.  At this point I really didn't care about the money so I said it was fine.  Sam was working but I knew he would be okay with it too.  About dinner time there was a knock at my door.  I opened it to find, not someone who hauls away garbage, but the man who cooks dinner for my student's family.  He was accompanied by his wife.  This man is a good two inches shorter than me and probably weighs ten pounds lighter as well.  His wife is maybe even a little smaller.  I was a bit surprised and said "Are you two going to move these two beds down three flights of stairs?"  He smiled and said it was no problem.  He was right there was no problem.....well except for one problem. 

They moved the bed frames and mattresses carefully one piece at a time and I held the door open for them.  When he came to get the last piece I asked him what kind of car they were driving to move the beds and he replied he had a 三轮车 (San lun che).  A 三轮车 is basically a big tricycle with a small metal bed in the back.  (See the above picture.)  Naturally I was shocked that he would be attempting to move two big beds and their frames on such a small contraption.  I figured I should take a picture of it so I grabbed my camera and ran downstairs.  I watched them load it in disbelief and took a few pictures.  But just as he loaded the second mattress the tricycle fell forward and hit my neighbor's van.  My neighbor just so happened to be watching the whole thing and he wasn't too happy about the small dent in his hood.  He immediately started arguing with the owner of the tricycle and demanding that he give him 600rmb for the damage.  The tricycle owner's reply was that he was just
here to help me and that the dent was really small and probably easy to fix.  The argument started to get a little heated and I was getting worried.  It was a tiny dent and clearly not my fault but if my neighbor was unhappy about something connected to me that couldn't be a good thing. I also knew that both men were waiting to see what my reaction would be. Since Sam wasn't home yet I tried calling him for advice but he didn't answer.  I finally got a hold of another friend who advised that I talk the man down from 600rmb and offer to chip in some money myself but not to take any of the blame.  After hanging up the phone I casually walked over to the van, looked at the dent, looked at my neighbor, and then said "Look here, he's going to give you 100rmb and I'll give you 100rmb too, okay?"  He looked at me and said it was okay.  By the time I came back with the money they had reloaded the tricycle with both beds and were on their way.   I gave my neighbor the money and breathed an inner sigh of relief.

 I didn't get a picture of the finished project but the one you see above was taken just before they put on the second mattress which made it fall forward.

Words to remember:

sān­lún­chē (三轮车)=tricycle; pedicab

chuáng (床)= bed

It's been awhile

I can't believe its been three months since my last post.  So to any of you who are still reading this blog I apologize.  I have not dropped off the face of the earth but I have been busy.  Here's a brief synopsis:  We went to California for just under a month, then spent almost a week in Hong Kong, then back to China only to be told by our landlords that we had to find a new place to live as soon as possible.  I have many blogs about the last three months all stored in my head but at this point I think its best to move forward.  Its September and a new school year has started so we are busy teaching and also still settling into our new apartment.  Our new place is just a few blocks from our apartment so its not a huge adjustment but when you walk to get groceries even moving a few blocks can change where you shop and eat.  Also our new place is in a small building which means no elevator and even nosier neighbors.  But being on the third floor isn't a tough stair climb and we have a good view of the trees and street below.  I would like to include some pics from our new place but its not quite up to my standards yet.  For one thing we have two queen beds that are leaned up against the window in our living room/second bedroom.  The landlord didn't want to get rid of the beds for us so we are trying to find a good home for them.  I may just break down and find someone to come and haul them away.  Oh yes, did you notice I said living room/second bedroom?  Technically our new place doesn't have a living room.  Its a two bedroom, one kitchen, one bathroom, and no living room.  Its not a strange thing for apartments here to not have a living room.  On the bright side both bedrooms are roomy.  The bigger room is what we are using as a living room and guest room.  It was important for me to have a place for guests and this was really the best we could do.  Prices are getting higher every year here, we basically pay over 100 US dollars more a month now for a smaller place.  But its definitely cozier than our last place.  (If cozy-ness carries any weight with you this is a huge plus.)  I will try and include pics as soon as we get rid of those extra beds.  For now, here's a couple pics of our old view.